The Move

Just wanna say I've moved. Any blog posts or my life status as of any point in time will be all posted in my LJ site or dA site. LJ = LiveJournal. dA = deviantArt.

If anyone wants to view, as said on my friend's dA page - "ask and 'ye may get"; but at this point I doubt anyone will do so *shrugs*

People say family's the most important in the world but right now, I'm thinking money is at the same level as the universal belief on family. But I guess he won't understand my reason, right? *shrugs*

Though Val won't be reading this 'cos I post my entries elsewhere but just would like to say to her->

Poor Val. She's been in some shit lately. Me too. I'm not in deep shit but I have lots of things weighing on my mind.

I'd like to thank her. Thank you for your support, epic rants, hearing me out and never leaving me alone for too long, texting me right from NZ (even in the middle of the night at one time). :D

I'd be there for you when you need me - and you're the first person I've ever and maybe the only person in my life at this point I would say to. And, I cross my fingers we'll meet one day, soul-sibling (I guess I'm adapting to your theory afterall :p)

Plus, less than 30 days until Sep 10, premiere of Supernatural Season 4 with their awesome brothers and growling rebel angel. I could just scream. >.<

Just checkin' in ...

I think I could just about say that this blog is DEAD. Updates of my life can be seen in my dA page which I believe one overseas friend, Val only read and answer. Man, it is so nice when someone listens. For once, someone listens to me instead of me listening to them. Of course, it works both ways between me and Val since we have lots and I mean LOTS of common ground between us. I am thankful I found someone like her. We even went as far to spam each other's dA, Facebook, msn, Youtube, Livejournal, email pages with replies to each other and exchange hp no. (which we won't use unless for some emergency announcement). I swear we have the same minds and she could be my muse for starting me up on editing videos for myself again.

Right about now, I have a few mediums that I work on. Some of them have my creations or recent status. They are:
- Twitter (I think I'm finding my humour and sarcasm back with it)
- Facebook (Stop the Mafia War Family requests. I dun play any games except quizes)
- dA aka deviantArt (My "art" work, poems, unfinished stories are there. I'll also be updating longer posts of my recent status there)
- Youtube (My self-made videos. Non of them for official competition. Doing out of fun and non-profit)
- LiveJournal (Once I find inspirations, I'll finish my SPN DeanXSam fanfic in one go and post it there)

I'm not saying I won't look here but I'll drop in now and then and add a post or something if I feel like it. But really, posting to a zero audience is just sickening. I think I'll just go get some recognition and gain some friends through my work and common hobbies online. Last of all, I would like to announce that I'm utterly OBSESSED with SUPERNATURAL and officially a MishaMinion (Misha Collin plays the angel, Castiel in Supernatural). I practically "stalk" Misha on Twitter and I'm certain if I meet him in person, I'll be smiling like an idiot.

And, this is why I just adore this actor. He has Twitter which I follow him, great sense of humour and he gives us fans such heart-attacking fan-service. This is why we all love the man:

Misha in Yoghurt by ~darkwings08 on deviantART

My latest work, "One Last ...". A CasXDean "Promo/Trailer", "Dean/Castiel" video entry for Rockies07's Anything Goes Contest on Youtube. First SPN fanvid ever and dedicated to Val:

Dribble

I know I decided to extend my internship 'cos I wanted to do the behind-the-scenes for Kelvin Tong's movie but somehow I wish I could end this internship sooner. It's really boring at my workplace. I have nothing to do. There's no work to be done. My LO requested me to make an August calendar and I sent her a draft but she hasn't gotten back to me. It's been a week already.

Thankfully, my fan-friend, Val from NZ, tagged me on her latest video. Her latest video featured 5 facts about herself. She tagged me so I would do one too. It seems fun and I felt that I could incorporate some Supernatural ep scenes in it so I'm taking up the challenge. As to who I'll tagged in my own video (which I'm calling "Tagged, I'm IT"), I doubt there's anyone since I have less contacts in the Youtube account.

Thanks to Supernatural and dA, I found a friend, who's name is Val, who's the same age as me, who's female, who has the same hobbies (including yaoi), who's from overseas, who's bisexual, who surprisingly is in the same line as me (film sch), who has a good sense of humour, who's open and easy to talk to. The down side is we're so many kilometres of sea apart. She's from New Zealand. I'm from Singapore.

As a result, I always grasp what time it is over there whenever I'm talking to her over msn. The fun thing is sometimes we abuse dA or Facebook to hold our conversation. And, we have no qualms about leaving each other offliners about interesting videos or news, like she provided the link to downloading "Save Me". Managed to download it and watch it. Thanks and love 'ya, woman. (Hopefully, I don't become too clingy as I may tend to -.-)

"Save Me" left me pondering for quite some time after the movie. It's rather scary seeing some religious group being so confident of what their religious book says and never doubting it. They keep to their way and insist that it is the right way. Thankfully, this movie had a happy but sad ending. And, ultimately, it shows that what's most important in the end is not letting people's (religious, etc.) opinions lead how you live your life, but being true to yourself. Of course, do the right thing while you're staying true to yourself.

Recently, I viewed the pictures the SPKC Club took when they went for the Suki Sushi Buffet. I saw the pictures and thought to myself, "Oh, I should have gone." Well, technically, I could if I want to since I'm not a fan of swimming but the common issue here was money. I was surviving on less than $100 for the month of July. My 20 day work day meals are all included in the $100.

I bought a Supernatural Season 3 DVD so I was left with $100. It's always money, money, money. I don't get to keep my ATM 'cos my mum is worried I'll spend the money unwisely. Therefore, I lie quite often to say I have enough money. I think that in future I'll stop thinking about whether I'll even get a chance to fall in love (which recently I dun seem to care about it anymore so that's really great) but think about making as much money as I can. Lovers leave; lovers break but money stays and makes the world go round.

Over and over in my head

Just have some things I'm contemplating and turning over and over in my head:

- I'm wondering how I'm gonna get through this internship. I'm rather tired of repeated routines of coming to work from Monday to Friday and resting on weekends. I'm starting to understand how Sam feels when he had to witness Dean dying so many times. It becomes a little scary at first, then rather old.

- The aching at my lower spine is annoying me. I hope cycling on Sunday won't aggravate it since it will take some strain on my back while I cycle.

- It's even more annoying that I can't totally erase him out of my mind. He's at the back of my head. And, when I'm not busy thinking about something, his issue pops into the front. The fact that my thoughts fly to his direction is eating me up inside.

- I think internship was a valuable experience. If it hadn't exist, I wouldn't be touching Finalcut Pro and learning how to edit. Okay, I've done simple edits like an anime amv with WMM and I've posted it on my Youtube account.

- Somehow, I can't not do these few things when I turn my laptop on: Check who's online (with no intention to start any conversations), check email, check Twitter, check Facebook and check dA.

- Great thanks to Misha Collins for having a Twitter account and made me create one to "stalk" him. I've fallen in love with the damn gadget and the more sarcastic and nonsensical side of me is showing up more and being used as content for my Tweets.

- I was watching some Supernatural fanvids on Youtube when I realised that Jared Padalecki has a nice butt.

- It's scary to know that in my earlier years, I have actually seen Jensen Ackles in his earlier roles like Eric Brady in Days Of Our Lives and Smallville as Jason Teague. It's incredible that I actually hate his character in Smallville because he was in the way of Clark and Lana's relationship.

- I feel the urge to make a Supernatural fanvid of CasXDean after hearing some songs that fit them. However, I don't have the clips.

- It's not exactly a comforting thought that there's only me and a friend so far who's interested in joining a Phillips TVC competition. I haven't heard his idea yet. I hope the idea doesn't mutate into something lame. I really hate it when what one thinks is funny isn't funny to others. At all.

- I've realised that my 19th birthday falls during the school holidays this year. I'm thinking whether anyone would remember and ask to celebrate. At all. I can bet and I'm preparing for myself that only my family are the ones that will celebrate it with a dinner, cake and presents. (It's not like anyone actually reads my blog too so yeah, I'm like unnoticed wallpaper)

- Then, there's the case of thinking about how solitary my life is. Never in love. Never experienced the fun, joy or sadness in a relationship. I have no one that can support me emotionally. Lucky ever since the start of internship, I've been unusually cheerful and optimistic. Well, that's a thought. I'm supposed to get strong. How much stronger independently? That, I'm not sure.

Phew. That's a lot going on in my head. I think if thoughts were like real mini characters, they would be throwing a party in my mind and amusing themselves with randomly presenting themselves to the front of my mind. They're lucky I'm not a real meanie or I'll kick their hide if I actually, physically could.

Father's Day 2009

Celebrated Father's Day 1-2 weeks ago. Finally uploaded my part of the photos on Facebook and on picasa. The celebration was done at the Singapore Flyer and New York, New York. My half older sis, Gail and my aunt Latifah plus my cousin Raffino joined in the celebration. Activities were suggested by Gail and money was came up entirely by everyone except my old man. (It's Father's Day after all) :D

Sweet summer

It's June and somewhere on the other side of the world, it's Summer. S'pore's not spared for the sun is out and the heat is on, contributing to the surrealism that summer has arrived in the non-seasonal S'pore.

Hence, I'm wearing the Miami GLOW by J LO. I must say ... I think it smells kinda fruity just like sweet summer. Love this perfume along with the rest that was given as a gift from Gail.

Now, it's the 9th(?), 10th(?) week of internship. Last Sunday, I shot the Manja Foodfair 2009 by myself (my boss wasn't there at all). I screwed the white balance and audio. I think I at least have some knowledge of what I should be shooting for such events now. Amazing thing was that I went without food since the morning till evening (having only ate breakfast before shooting). And, then, when I was back in the office on the Monday morning, I got hungry real fast when I hadn't even been doing work. It's like work is the food for the stomach now.

Right now, I'm working on the FHM July Issue 09 TVC with the help of my boss. For two days in a row (today's the 2nd day), I've been seeing frontal, frontal and more frontal ... boobies, boobies and more boobies and lastly, lingeries, lingeries and more lingeries.

I've foolishly keyframed and cropped the images on every single frame, thinking that they must be within the border limits; only to find out that I don't need to do that. My boss pointed out that foolishness and judging from his amused reaction, I think he probably thought I was kinda silly at that time to do that. (At least, I discovered the use of the crop tool on the side toolbar) All the while, I could have spend the time making the TVC as sexy and teasing as can be for the alpha male population.

It's Friday now. Sunday's gonna be Father's Day and my folks are gonna go on the Flyer that day, in which following after that, we're having dinner at n.y.d.c. Yum. And, on Monday, I gotta get back to work on making a 3 min highlight outta Manja Foodfair '09. Jeez ... I can't stand being in the office as much as I'm rather high-spirited and in a well mood during this internship. I'm dying to get out everyday. Hope more events come up so I can get to do some shooting and get more practice on my camerawork skills.

Meanwhile, it's great to hear that Misha Collins has a great sense of humour on the topic of Supernatural slash. I've been watching his panel in the several Supernatural Conventions on Youtube, along with his role in the movie, Karla. And, I'm safe to say that I'm officially a MISHA MINION!! (among the many thousand minions on Twitter) now. ^.^

I-Weekly/ 8 Days Roadshow 2009

Last weekends, from Friday to Sunday, Plaza Singapura was holding the I-Weekly/ 8 Days Roadshow 2009. I was there as well. My intern company does coverage for the events. I had a chance to shoot the event on Saturday & Sunday for the first time. It was a great learning experience. There was many things to look out for, eg. iris, focus, zoom. On top of that, I had to stay alert to the things happening around and be quick with my fingers on the focus and zoom. Shooting a film and shooting an event eahc has different rules. I also saw some mediacorp artistes and taiwan's singing artistes. Below are the pictures taken from Friday to Sunday. (My boss was kind enough to help me take the last 2 days' pictures while I was shooting):

God damn it

God damn it. Why for heaven's sake must it be you?
God damn it. What the hell did I see in you?
God damn it. You're perfect yet messed up sometimes
That when it comes right down to it at the very end
You're still the one I can't erase from my very mind
God damn it.

Small thoughts

Assumptions. Don't get caught up and played around by them. Stop thinkin' too much.

Weekend Recap

Had a busy and long weekend. Kicking start the long and busy weekend is the SPKC FOC'09; came back on Sunday afternoon at 2pm and then head out again for the 14th Compass Awards'09 my intern co. is working on. Won't be saying anymore of my Weekend Recap but show it in pictures at the end of this post.

Monday afternoon, I woke up at 2pm (my boss gave me the day off) after getting back home at 12 midnight the previous night. It's the first time I slept 'till 2pm and my body pretty much feels like a truck just ran over it. I'm drained physically and slightly mentally because of the camp and some personal awareness issues. But, all's blown away when I loaded the last episode of Supernatural S04: Lucifer Rising and watched its finale.

In addition, I caught up with an overseas friend, Val I made on DA> then Facebook> then Msn; swooned over the last ep and watched the Castiel/Dean (more slash) fanvid she made for me and 2 other people who enjoy this show and is obsessed with the show and the pairings. I'm touched. It's the first time someone's made a video for me; and it's something I really like on top of it.

I think I should do the same for her by writing a Dean/Sam (more slash) Wincest (yaoi) fanfiction for her and let her nose bleed dry in bliss XD

Over & Done with

The FHM June issue'09 TVC has been finalised. I had done the changes according to the client's request and left the audio part for my boss to handle (since I'm not that well-versed with the audio part).

And, today, I heard from my boss that the updated version of the TVC has been sent and it's finalised. To sum it up, it's over and done with! Woot! Once the TVC is out on broadcast, I'm gonna request a copy of the rendered file from my boss if permitted. My first TVC that I've ever done (with help and mentoring from my boss)!

Can't wait to see the TVC on broadcast It's exciting to see your own work on TV!!

FHM GND June Issue' 09 TVC

Finally, I'm really doing work at my internship company. Today, I spent the entire day editing and doing effects for FHM GND June Issue' 09 TVC. I had to complete by today, so as I've heard from my boss.

Nearing the completion of the editing, my boss helped me with some editing work and suggested better ways to make the TVC funky and informative. It was my first time using Mac Finalcut to do my first-time editing work and even using it for some simple effects. By the time it's rendered out to be send to mediacorp publishing department for review and clearance, I was really shagged. I even ate only less than half of the sambal fried rice my colleague helped me to buy back.

And, to my bewilderment, I was informed later that more time was given. Yeah ... I felt like I rushed for nothing and really wondered if the work I did on the TVC was good enough. However, it's still good because that would mean that I've completed at least the basis of the work. Now, I just have to adjust and makes changes to the TVC sequence according to the comments or suggestion after the draft TVC has been reviewed.

Although it was tiring and heart-pounding-cum-rushing, it was quite an achievement for someone like me, a first-timer in video editing. The feeling of satisfactory is what makes the work worth it. =D

Internship: Week 2nd

How time flies... It's now the 2nd Week of Internship. So far, I have been doing cropping and resizing of images with Photoshop. Yeah, it's a little bland ...

Then, there's today, where I was given the task to crop the images for the FHM GND (Girls Next Door)'09 TVC! My morning was spent resizing the images and looking at boobies and bikinis (Yikes!). And, during the late afternoon, I was informed that tomorrow I'll be able to try my hands on editing the FHM GND'09 TVC! I have to think of a way to make it nice and battle-like (for the GNND'09 battle). A little nervous about it. It's all images and it's my first time with a TVC! And, it's gonna be broadcasted nationwide!!

Ganbatte to myself! Yoshi! Ashita, shigoto ganbatte!

Internship Start-toh!

Had experienced the first two days of internship! I'm attached to DP Productions run by my supervisor cum boss cum director/ producer, Daniel Phoon. There's two of us (me and Daniel) on the Technical side and Annie (in charge of admin stuff), Juliet (aspiring journalist) and Hong Lin (Mass Comm. intern from Ngee Ann Poly) on the Admin. + Events organising side. The place is a 3 in 1, whereby it's not only a production company but also a RedBox Event (organising events) and Club 20 (sth...) (match-making). Cool, isn't it?

For now, things are running slow but projects will soon be coming up like the Compass Awards. I'm told that I'm gonna be able to go there and see how live-coverage is done. Speaking of live-coverage, did I mention that that is NOT taught in Poly?! I'm gonna start from scratch but I'm sure it's a good experience. Ahh ... and Mac Finalcut Pro. I'm gonna learn how to really hands-on edit video.

As for how's my first day was like, it basically went like this:
Reported to work > Met the boss, Daniel > Shown and was impressed by video work done by DP Productions > Learnt that my first 2 days will be slow paced but projects will soon be coming > Learnt how the production system worked > Met 3 other colleagues > Learnt how to use the office phone (which I'm still blur at) > Learn how to open the door and the security system > Lunch together > Had free time, chatted with the admin. side people > Got to know more about some of their plans > Know more about the match-making system > Shared ghost stories > Home

I think some people will o.O at my first day's schedule, esp. Kai An. I read from his blog that his first day was all the way pia ...

I've also learnt that my work is from 9.30am to 6.30pm. There's no work on Saturday & Sundays unless there's projects. The place is in a shophouse. It's cosy compared to what I expected. I had imagined that the place is dim and haunted =.='' There's two floors with a mini staircase running up to the upper floor. The upper floor houses the Admin. + Events organising department and the lower floor (where I am at) houses the Production Co.

As for my 2nd day (today), this was how it went:
Report to work > First to arrive > Had difficulty figuring how to unlock the door > Didn't manage to key security code to disarm alarm within the limited time > TRIGGERED the alarm (!!) > Took out notebook to find out the code > Finally, disarm it but realised that the alarm maybe linked to the boss's hp > Waited for others to come > Read Mac Finalcut Pro Manual for a while > Hong Lin arrives > Found out that the boss did find out about the alarm thing > Found out later that there's only two of us there for the day > Did my own things > Lunch > Did own things some more > Daniel arrived > Helped him with the things needed for Compass Awards > More resizing and extracting using Photoshop > Managed to finish before 6.30pm > Home

The best thing is that I felt that the day went quite well. Somehow, I didn't feel tired doing the work. Maybe it's been a while doing work? It seems that my nervousness before internship started is gone. I was calm on my first day (or maybe I mistook it as numb?). I was able to settle in well and feel more comfortable. And, now, I look forward to the next day of work and the many things I've haven't learn, seen and experienced =D

Jape Tiger

JAPE TIGER Doll on SOULDOLL website. I want it!! It's so cool. It's a guy too! If I ever had a guy doll, I would call it "Kuro Ran" (Black Wolf) >.<

Ahhh... why Zaki intro the site to me?? Desires are bad. What's more- it's highly unachievable and expensive. The doll model won't exist sooner or later. New models will come out by then =/

2Ss = Suki Sushi + Sheesha

Had a 2Ss day on Wednesday, 15th April'09. First, I went Suki Sushi @ Cineleisure Orchard for a lunch buffet with the SPKC gang. Hmm ... my outings are always with them. That's more compared to my classmates and other friends. Lol. Oh well, they're fun, enjoy food, loves hanging out and I like them alot. What more can I ask for? Grins*

Senpai Chun Hwee booked 5 places for us- Jin Hui, Baoqiang, Dennis, Me and not forgetting Chun Hwee himself. Dennis was kind enough to pay for me first since I'm not quite loaded at the moment. We ate quite a lot. We tried almost every single dish on the menu, includin Ramen, Soba, Takoyaki, Ebi Fried, Teriyaki Chicken, Salmon Skin, Sashimi, Cold Tofu, Ice-cream, Cream Puffs and of course, Sushi!



After lunch, we met up with Joanne. Though she doesn't train anymore (me included), we people still hang out regularly. Hehe. Fun girl. A little crazy sometimes but nice girl. I had a shock when we met up with her. She had long curls. She looked so pretty and feminine. I repeat FEMININE! She always dressed bunk. Lol. Then, I found out that she went to the salon the day before to do the curly hair extensions with Dennis's company. While she did her hair, Dennis flirted with the person doing the hair for Joanne; so as I've heard from Joanne.

Finally, after walking around Takashimaya's toy section, ate Mac ice-cream, departed with Chun Hwee, debated for our next destination as to go to Changi Airport, Vivo or home; we decided to go Arab Street for Sheesha as suggested by Dennis. It was an interesting and first experience for me. They picked Mango Mint flavor. I got the hang out of it after a few puffs while Jin Hui wasn't too good at it. Meanwhile, from the looks of it, Baoqiang could be your very own what-you-see as a potential smoker and as for Dennis and Joanne? Let's just say, Joanne's a veteran and Dennis is really power!

We also played with poker cards. For the first time, I played Bluff and I was the first one to get out of the game. Yay! We also played Tai Di, which I excused myself out of the game since I'm not familiar and couldn't understand the game. And, we played 1, 2, 3 to 13 card game. It's a game similar to heart attack. I ended up being really bad at it. Slow reflexes. Sigh*



Overall, it was a really fun experience. Lucky, I had my camera with me to capture these fun memories. Really had an absolutely great day and time. I look forward to more fun outings again with these people. And, a great thanks to them for giving me such a good time. Power of the 2Ss = Suki Sushi + Sheesha!!

My brand new digital cam

Weeeee!!! Finally, I have my own digital camera!! Behold, the Panasonic Lumix FS 6. I'm so thrilled!! The sunset nowadays seems to be more colorful and beautiful (from my 19th storey house); and now, taking pictures of the sunset won't be something impossible. Of course, I can take pictures of many other thigs. I'm gonna bring it wherever I go.

Price: $259
Comes with: Camera case, 8GB SD card
Free gifts: Mini tripod and screen protection
(Special thanks to my friend, Zaidi who helped me out with choosing and bargaining for the camera)

Megapixels: 8.1 megapix
For noobs: iA (Intelligent Auto) mode (I think I may use this often -.-)
Focus: Normal, Macro, Quick AF
Face Detection: Yes
ISO: 1600
(Check out the Panasonic website for more info.)

Lalalalala...

SPKC Sentosa Rekky

Went to rekky for the games planned for the SPKC FOC'09. Started at 8am and ended at around 1pm. We had a fruitful day; managing to plan out the games to incorporate into this coming event and had fun at the beach. In the mean time, enjoy the pictures. More will be added to it later.

Gears on the move

It just goes to show that organising stuff is something I like. Of course, that excludes my personal stuff and I'm referring to stuff as in events like camps. I've been involved in planning and preparing for SPKC FOC'09; and hell, I'm hyped up to do more.

I feel like giving the club blog (which I started and neglected later) a makeover! I think I should (help out). Dee's probably having problems, working out how to work the blog.

My gears are active and on the move. It would be nice if this feeling never go away..

I'm not a nice sister

Found out my 2nd younger Ayam has been talking bad behind my back in her blog. Oh ho. I have words for her. I'm not sure if she fucking knows but when my 1st younger sister tells her to get out or criticises her; I'm not supporting her. I just keep quiet and get out of the way. I never say I like what she does; throwing her temper around. If she noticed, Adek attempts to kick her out of the room many times compared to me.

And, apparently, I don't have the habit of writing my irritation of her playing audition so much on my blog. Well, apparently, maybe I should but I won't. It's wasting time. Also, you got something wrong. I asked if you wanted to use the computer. It wasn't something out of sarcasm. I was really asking you a damn question. You should go learn literature and learn how to interpret words and tone. And, knowing that our folks will chase you to bed, I asked you for the time. Do you think I take notice of what time they chased you to bed? Don't use blah blah as to what I say in your blog. Listen to what people are saying.

Important words for you: I'm not a nice sister. I never was and never will be. Being nice, encouraging, comforting, pretty big sisters like in the overrated tv dramas or movies is not in the package. I got my own set of principles I adhere to. And, yeah you have your hobbies, I have mine; and mum has hers. Most importantly, you're in secondary school; you're still studying; you're not in the least an adult. Hahaha ... consider yourself lucky. You have no idea the things you could get away with, compared to me when I was around your age. Handphone, computer, go out after schools... Not sure if you know, I don't have much friends in Sec 1 & 2. I went out exploring the malls, travel to other stations.

What I have in the end is a lecture about being the eldest, show good example, threat to put me in a foster home and all I can do is keep my anger in my heart but it overwhelmed me and broke me down. Do you want to face the same thing as me? Do you want to cut the back of your wrist as an act of rebellion and an oath to yourself two years from now? The eldest get more tough discipline. Discipline dies down when it comes down to the younger ones. And, you, my dear girl, is a younger one. It's like I set a threshold for the level of discipline; mine being the highest.

To deal with these things I don't like, I became slightly abnormal and I enjoyed it- whatever you name it: watching gay, reading up on the occult (witchcraft), smoking, wanting to be outside in the night, all the things you don't deem normal and you're not open-minded enough to accept. By the way, you should thank me. I started watching anime first. You people followed. I have an annoying time proving that watching anime doesn't get in the way with my studies.

So, say what you want in the blog. I give you permission. Continue playing the audition you love. Deciding on things without using logic and reasoning (like the time you went out early morning just to get on the same bus as your friend and got your folks angry). Remain the righteous child you're always are. I'll get out of the way of interrupting your space and happy time. I think it's about time people stop interfering with you and let you fend for yourself.

Afterall, you're capable of that, right? If consequences arise, let me see the downfall. I've been waiting to see the downfall of someone in the family. It excites me to see someone go down and have a taste of failure. Twisted right? Maybe it's like what I thought to be when I was younger- a child of the Devil, perhaps?

"Everyone's a critic"

Brian Kinney: "Everyone's a critic."

Oh, so critically and fucking right.

Queers As Folks

Finished watching the last episode of the homosexual-themed series, Queers As Folks. The ending was bittersweet with the main couple, Brian and Justin deciding to call off the wedding, separate themselves; allowing Justin to create a path for his career in New York and Brian to continue being himself- the playboy and "ass behind the asshole (as quoted by the character Debbie)"; but knowing that without rings and vows, they love each other.

I'm sure many QAF (Queers As Folks) fans are sad over the series' bittersweet ending. I'm not spared either. Though I'm considered a "lag" as Joanne described to discover this series much recently, I feel like I've been watching it for a long time and was saddened to see its ending. What appealed to me was not just the sex scenes, but also the political issues facing homosexuals, lesbians, the conflicts, love, friendship and emotions.

The most applaudable thing are the actors and actresses. Gale Harold who plays Brian is a heterosexual/ straight in reality while Randy Harrison who plays Justin is a homosexual/ gay in reality. It's admirable for Gale Harold to manage to pull off as a gay, arrogant, hot, sexual predator called Brian and act out the sex scenes which I'm sure it isn't easy; considering the sex scene with Randy was at its pilot episode where both actors barely knew each other and wasn't all that comfortable yet.

The couple, Brian and Justin and the show itself will live forever in my heart. There will never be a more sensational couple on screen of a gay drama series. Just like the producers mentioned in their final shoot for the series: "the relationship between Brian and Justin was the first of its kind. You've created a landmark in television.....there will never be another relationship like Brian and Justin in television ever and even if we have it, it's because of the two of you"

As The World Turns: Luke and Noah Story

Found another soap opera with a gay couple inside. Someone shoot this gay fan girl now. This time it's from the still ongoing soap opera series, As The World Turns. I'm watching the story of the only gay couple, Luke and Noah.

There's certainly no steamy sex scenes (it took about a year in the story timeline for them to get into bed together). Of course, the kisses weren't left out. There's also issues of coming out of the closet (shoot yourself if you don't know what that means). For those peeps who don't know the meaning, it means coming out into the open, normally used in the situations found in television series where people reveal they are gays, lesbians or bisexuals.

What I like is the acting from Van Hansis who plays the character of Luke. I see a similarity between him and Leonardo DiCaprio who played Arthur Rimbaud in the gay movie Total Eclipse. Both are similar to each other in terms of the character's sarcasm and taunting remarks. The agonised and suppressed-emotions facial expressions of the character of Luke is the one that leaves a lasting impression on me. Van Hansis certainly lives up to his reputation of being nominated for two Emmy Awards.

Jeez, look at my remarks; commenting about acting. I guess I'm really drawn into people's acting. Seeing them act with so much emotions and pulling off their roles, makes me want to jump out and get myself into acting... Nah, I haven't got the look. Nowadays, people go for outer appearances. I guess I'll just live that fantasy of being a convincing actor in my mind ... hmm ....

Moments

"Moments"

Can't forget, can't forget
The precious moments in time
Even if part of them was untrue
Even if part of them was a dream
All i knew was that you're unbelieveable

On that very eve of a special day
You summoned me who had already given up
Even if the summon was for your own reasons
Even if the summon was of no connection to me
All i knew was that you painted colors to my day

On that walkway surrounded by people
Your gentle grip on my arm was real
Even if the touch was for a moment
Even if the touch was of no meaning
All i knew was that you left me disarrayed

In that very room surrounded by players
Your masked dispiritedness was somewhere there
Even if nothing could be detected from your face
Even if nothing could be done from where i stood
All i knew was that i felt the same emotion as you

And in that dream surrounded by strangers
You slipped and entwined my arms into yours
Even if at that moment i showed half-hearted reluctance
Even if at that moment i knew that everything was unreal
All i knew was that where our skin touched it was warm

Those lovely boys

Fi-nally! Assignments are done! Well, not all but those more xiong ones. What's left are now Production Design Opening Video Sequence and Digital Matte Painting.

Meanwhile, I've been in some "girl-ish" high mood. Why? Because of all those movies featuring those lovely boys playing couples! There's new movies/ series of this genre! There's the Korean movie version of Antique Bakery (my,my ...Ono in this movie is real sexy), Dream Boy (I couldn't wait so I had to read the book ... such violence, pain, conflict and romance) and Verbotene Liebe known as "Forbidden Love" in German (a German soap opera which I only watch partsof it for the Christian X Oliver love story) >.<

And, below are the video links to the shows I mentioned:










Can't wait them to be screened in theatres and premiered the new episodes (Verbotene Liebe). Those lovely boys will just make my day ...

Stress mode, anyone?

Are you stressed?

Yes, Joanne, with regards to what you asked me while in stress mode yesterday; yup, I somehow ended up falling into stressed mode just now. Lit a stick to ease up. I wonder what the silly guy would just say about it when he hears about it. I guess I'll not tell him =p

In the mean time, I'm craving for Wang Zhai Niu Nai milk. It's the ultimate driving drink. A brain drink. Enough to give me energy boost to chiong work. A breather. Power of Wang Zhai Niu Nai ...

Sanctuary of escape

She was right. Sharifah that is. The view from behind the bus stop opposite of SP is a great one.

Great to gaze at the sky. Great to smoke. Great to take the mind off. A sanctuary of escape ...

Dare mo

Nee kimi, wakarimasen ka?

Kimi ha watashi no tokubetsu nakama deshita.

Demo ima kimi ha watashi no tokubetsu nakama jya arimasen deshita.

Ima kimi ha watashi no dare mo arimasen.

Fantastic 4

Fantastic 4. That's what Jin Hui called ourselves when we went out together again last night. The four of us - me, Jin hui, Haoyu and Gek Poh. Of course, this time there were 2 more guys, Qi Jun and Ronald who joined in.

Why "Fantastic 4"? That's because it's like the 3rd "karate outing" that involves us 4. Sometimes, trying to put together one club outing becomes redundant when the juniors don't reply and we 4 are the only ones who go out. Besides, the situation tallies with the characters of the story of Fantastic 4. 3 guys + 1 girl. Jin Hui is the one with the flaming torch, Haoyu is the elastic guy, Gek Poh is the rocky thing and I'm invisible girl.

Anyway, last night we went out to have dinner at Orchard. We had dinner at Coffee Club. Knowing I hadn't much money, I took the cheaper meal - Alfredo. It's creamy shell pasta with mushrooms and ham slices, baked under a layer of cheese. It's really filling but you kinda get sick a bit because it's so creamy.

Since, I haven't seen them for quite some time, I got the latest updates and gossip from them. After dinner and settling utter disgraceful and petty matters, we went walking around the malls nearby. One of the funny things anyone ever asked me came from Jin Hui. We were passing the clothes section in Isetan and he asked me why I don't wear a skirt or dress.

And, he pointed to a green sleeveless, show-cleavage" dress with black patterns all over it. I told him I don't even think that that dress was nice. It looks a bit like wearing a dress with polka dots except the patterns on this dress weren't circular.
Then, I said "I hang out with you guys. I'm the only girl. If you guys suddenly up and did some boyish things (I have no idea what they are), I will be very inconvenient. You know wearing a skirt or a dress, topped with heels."

Then, there were moments I'm just quiet. Guys and guys talking about army stuff. Ronald is always quiet. I don't think he's paying attention to it. And, I'm quiet. Later, these people noticed I was quiet and asked why. Then, they say I caught Ronald's influence. -.-

After Qi Jun left for his project, there was 5 of us. Haoyu made me call Joanne to ask her out. Dennis picked up the phone. For a second, I was surprised. Discussing what we do next, everyone ended up agreeing to go meet Dennis and Joanne at Boon Keng, her home place. All except Ronald, whose house is way too far and we were worried he couldn't catch the last bus or train home. We all sat at Mac. These time, the guys talked about more army stuff, with the addition of Dennis.

Well, I wasn't bored. I and Joanne talked. Talked about stuff; some clean and some dirty (you get the picture). What can I say? She's the only friend I can easily talk about such things =D

Overall, I enjoyed myself. Too bad we couldn't do more activities. We all were kinda broke. And, for the first time, I kind of want to take neoprints with these people. Yeah, I don't really take neoprints 'cos I don't think I look good in pictures but I think somehow it doesn't matter anymore. At the end, I reached home at 12am. I couldn't stay with them of course. But this time, I didn't sulk over that. Maybe I've become matured? Or it could be because I know my responsibilties that I got work the next day? I hope "matured" is the reason.

Good news is that my dad said if I'm going out with friends like Haoyu and want to stay out a bit late, it's fine but not too late and someone has to send me home. You hear that, Gek Poh? I've complained about that everytime we go out with the rest. I guess talking about my good friends and the people I mostly hang out with to my folks kind of got to them that these people are okay and can be trusted to a certain degree. I hope I can go drinking with them next time and just chat. I look forward to that day where I stay out late with Joanne, Dennis and the other members of the Fantastic 4 ...

Work woes and emotional woes

Recently, been benkyou o shimasu. Yesterday night, I slept at 2.30am just to complete masking for one of the characters in DCM Assignment 3; only to find out that there's no other solutions to mask the reflections on the marble floor. That means I gotta do a new mask from the beginning for the reflection on the floor. Darn SK's marble floor!

Now, I'm typing on this blog after finishing (for now unless there's changes) a script for a skit for GEMS Assignment 2. It's difficult writing a script. The topic is resilience factors for our GEMS class Psychology & Counselling. And, yup, I write it out so I gotta go dig relevant info. out. I must characterise the characters, create relevant problems, draw out resonable conclusions.

I'm already sleepy 'cos of yesterday but blasting Nickelback's rock songs seem to help a little. Too bad no help go to the "me" who was in Jap class. I was falling asleep. Besides, the share of assignment woes, there's the emotional woes. Nothing sad actually.

More like "given up" resolve and "can't be bothered" attitude is mutating into pure Distaste and people (or particularly the "Dramas") withdrawal symptoms. Tired of chasing after "Dramas" and fruitless attempts to reign control. Concerns and Determination to take actions are withdrawing. Tolerance for the first time sprung out of its usual place. Simple actions draw out the knot tying Tolerance down. And, let's not forget the discovery of the empty emotions. The "Hitori" feeling slowly fades away where Numbness takes place. An empty shell surfaces when dealing with the existence of the "Dramas". Mutation is fast evolving inside. Immunity to defend, in a sense, has been taken down. Soon, the System will reject "Dramas'" influence and aura. And, welcomes the day where the System is no longer distracted nor feels Distaste towards actions and words of the "Dramas".

Holy shit, what's that above?! Despite being sleepy, I typed out what I felt in the most unusual way. Emotions become real living characters in my description. I guess I haven't lost the touch to write weird stuff. Or should I say this is the first time I've written about things in such a manner. I guess Emotions are really something. They drive me to write peculiar stuff. Anyway, ganbatte to my System and Emotions. I still need you guys for the following weeks. I'll give a good reward during the holidays - 3 days of endless yaoi manga/anime reading/watching =D

Pieces

Broke my favourite perfume bottle, Glow by JLo this morning. Such a waste. It was my favourite among the set of 4 mini Glow perfume bottles. Plus, it was a birthday present from my half sister, Gail. Found out the actual price for a medium size bottle is like $61 or $69 near my place. Man, now I gotta use the others instead. Pieces ... can't be brought back nor pieced together again ...

Meanwhile, I've started watching a cartoon series I always wanted to watch but did not really have a chance to- Ben 10. Childish, huh? However, I think the story and characters are awesome. The main character Ben and his grandfather, Max are interesting characters. And, Gwen who is Ben's cousin, is my favourite character. She rocks in martial arts and magic. And, she looks hot in the sequel, Ben 10: Alien Force. Go, Gwen!

Note to self

Note to self:
- It is Week 14 of Sem. 2 now
- Come up with a treatment for video opening sequence by next Mon
- Complete MLP Powerpoint Presentation by next Wed
- Complete effects for PVFX by Week 16
- Complete effects for DCM
- Complete 3D Camera Mapping Assignment
- Get a rough idea of a end credit seq for PVFX
- Revise Japanese class work
- Owe Pala a movie
- Need new clothes
- Go out for meal with Shirley after resignation
- Go out for meal with Auntie Ann after her resignation
- Try to do snow painting
- Cast away kudaranai kansou
- Download the remaining Junjou Romantica eps
- Catch Skip Beat, Kuroshitsuji, Katekyoushi Hitman Reborn eps
- Resume watching Naruto Shippuden
- Get the 3rd Kathy Reichs novel: Deadly Decisions
- Stock up on yaoi manga as they're all read and run out
- Become a hitoe hatarakichuudoku

I'd just realised I got quite a list of Note-to-selfs and had to put them down. Ganbatte to myself on completing them ... Ikou! Ikou!

Killer wounds

On Monday, we had a bit of a mini practical make-up (cosmetic type) class during our Production Design class. It was interesting making someone look older, like a beggar, had a big gashing cut and a bullet/ cigarette burn on the arm. And, here are the pictures, taken from Kai An's hp (my hp low megapixel):

Our teacher, Jennifer Ang doing a demo and explaination


Sabo Suan Kai and he had to have this big cut "wound" on the back of his hand


Sam wound up with "blisters" derived from "burns"


Kevin had a burn on his arm


Kevin also had the chance to look older and like a homeless guy


Me and Oi Keat trying out on her arm. Didn't look convincing at first.


Adding the "burn" marks


Wa la! Our final piece! Not sure if we added too much "blood" ...


That's Oi Keat. After that, she didn't wash the "wound" off but succeed in scaring her hostel friends


Ahmad had a cut done by Zul. This one sure looks real ...


Zul managed to age so much with the help of Sharifah who applied the long moustache and beard on him

In addition, today's PVFX test is over. We made it through. An Zai managed to not get out of the room half an hour after the test was commenced. Hope we won't get too low marks. That's all I'm expecting. With low expectations, better emotion control =D