Work to the max!

Ah, we're finally finished the 4 assignments due for this entire week. Finally ... I can get some proper sleep, rest and relaxation (for now).

However, I cannot let my guard down yet. We've still got more assignments coming up. My group has to film our Digital Matting & Compositing assignment, start working on Media Law & Policy Assignment 2: Computer Misuse Act and construct a mini model of a production set of a more than 4-room flat and resume the work on our Production for Visual Effects assignment footage.

Much work to be done ... And, when we're done with these, maybe I can start or possibly start on a filming project with Zaidi during the "oh-so-events-packed" holidays (provided a story idea can be thought of) ...

Work ... Working ... Work to the max!

Totally game!

Received some good news today. It seems that Mr Quek and the teachers involved in allocating ITP for us, students have changed their decision. We can take ITP as a class (however we're taking it first while the other class do their FYP)!! And, that means I get to go to the group I want to go to for FYP! I am confirmed to be in Zaidi's group! There's gonna be me, Zaki, Zaidi and Affa and we're still waiting for another member...

And, though he warned of hardcore filming, it sounded more of a promise to me. HARDCORE FILMING!! I'm really anticipating and excited about it. You should see the stars in my eyes! (though I doubt anyone can see) Now, that is where real filming begins! I'm game for that. Totally game!

On top of that, if anyone hasn't noticed; yes, I've cut my hair. It's short and more comfortable. I asked the hairdresser to cut it short, make it thin and let my fringe stay long. Makes me look like neither a guy nor a girl, huh? Well, that's what my colleague said and it's actually pleasing to hear that. Sharifah saw that I cut my hair short and reacted with "Bastard sia". Ah, just the reaction I wanted to hear ... Hahaha ...

Mind Flunctating

Haiz, by the time I realise, assignments has poured in and there is much to do. Next Monday, the set design for Production Design is to be presented and handed up. And, some time around next week, the HDR image with a 3D model is also to be handed up.

Besides being noob and confused over the set floor plans, I keep thinking and changing 3D models to model. First, it was the mecha Shinkirou from Code Geass R2. Then, it was the character Namame from the manga Mysterious Play: Gaiden (sth). And, now, here I am in T2054, modelling the helmet of the mecha Shinkirou. Nuts, huh?

Hence, I've decided that I'll do a customised god-knows-what 3D model, which I give thanks to Zaidi who put that into my head a few days ago. Meanwhile, there's good news for me. Because of the Twilight trailer I put on this blog and set it to auto-play, Zaidi has been psychoed to watch the trailer. Yay! I reeled in another Twilight-movie-interested person.

Back to the 3D model, I'm still thinking what to create with the different parts that I've modelled so far (very little really). Should I make a knight with weird armour? Or something else?

Flunctating ... flunctating ... mind flunctating ...

HL Milk Snatching

Work at my part-time job today. It was boring since there weren't much customers. The only interesting thing was that the cleaner uncle told my supervisor that the HL Milk in the fridge, specially for Sudoku players, is open for public to take.

Of course, my supervisor ordered me to take some for us to drink. I came back with 4 normal plain HL milk cartons. Not sure if she needed more, I took a No. 3 plastic bag from the shop and went back to get more. I came back with 12 more strawberry-flavored HL milk in the plastic bag. I was wearing my uniform carrying the shop's plastic bag. I was also the tallest one among the other people snatching the milk. I guess long arms and legs does have its usefulness, huh?

Twilight

Twilight. Movie I'm looking forward to. It premieres in US on 21st November 2008 and for Singapore, the premiere date is 18 December 2008. Can't wait for it to come out!! I keep watching the trailers and listen to the songs that's in the soundtrack. By the way, the song featured on my blog (the "Muse" area) is from the Twilight Movie Soundtrack. I have even downloaded the wallpaper and put it as my laptop desktop wallpaper. >.< My december is gonna be great with the premiere of this movie and if I'm nuts, I may watch it like several times and hopefully not that many times (or I'll go broke) like Sam who watched HSM3 like 6 or 7 times -.-''

And, here's the Twilight movie trailer below:

Wasted Self; Piri Piri; Emotion Test

Went out today. Felt like I wasted my time. I met Karen at the library on the 7th floor. I lent her my hard disk so she could transfer the things she wanted to print. Then, went to DPI at Sunshine Plaza. She encountered problems; called her partner, Lawrence for help; he managed to come to help; got their printing done; and we took a taxi to school. I decided to accompany her and thought we could have lunch together.

However, settling the homework, presentation and debriefing took longer than I expected and by the time it's done, it was around 4pm plus. I missed my lunch. I only had a chocolate muffin at noon. And, at 4pm plus, I took a light snack- fries, chocolate donut, nescafe because I had dinner plans at 7.45pm. I sat there eating alone, thinking I totally wasted my afternoon. I had things to do which I haven't got around to doing it:

- script for a skit for GEMS assignment
- production design model (again -.-)
- digitising and editing my japan fish market footage

I'm nuts. I haven't started on any of them. Totally wasteful of me. Got fed up on myself. And, no, Karen, it's not your fault. It's my own. I can refuse to lend you my hard disk but I went ahead anyway.

Anyway, I also learn that things have gotten a bit edgy among some people. Wow, that sucks when I heard what happened. Oh well, "shit happens" as Joanne always like to say. Can't do anything about it ... Immatures will be immatures ...

On the other hand, my night plans perked me up. I met Haoyu, Dennis and Joanne for dinner at Orchard. Haoyu still owed me a meal and I needed to pass him his stuff so we met. All of us had dinner at The Coffee Club. It was my first time there. And, yes, Haoyu, I'm sua ku. I got little experience with restaurants and cafes.

At Coffee Club, I ordered "Piri Piri Chicken" (poor dish; having such a name; must be shy to face the other dishes who have normal names) and an "Ice Mocha Vanilla". They both tasted not bad. Enjoyed my time there. And, boy, Joanne's real cheery today. Totally understand what her smile towards me was about. She also kept playing with the ice in her milkshake and asked about guys wearing underwear during NS training in the forest at the dinner table.

It's cool not caring about the whole decent etiquette when with friends and just talk about anything that comes to mind (like when Dennis mentioned about me jacking off instead of trying smoking while we were waiting for Haoyu) ... that was really retarded ... even if I wanted to do anything like that, it's im-po-ssi-ble, given my current no-closing-of-bedroom-doors and somewhat overprotective, conservative settings ... hee ... hee ...

It was also surprising to know Dennis once smoked. Hah ... learnt about it when Joanne mentioned it while smoking as we waited for Haoyu to arrive. She let me had one puff as well. Shh ...

Then, we went walking around Paragon and The Heeren and started heading home. I, on the other hand, walked to Plaza Singapura to get some a drink and "sui shi masu" stuff for myself. It was 11.30pm when I got home. And, I found Sam had forwarded me an email titled "Emotion Test". These were the questions:

1. Which is your favorite color out of: red, black, blue, green , or yellow?
2. Your first initial?
3. Your month of birth?
4. Which color do you like more, black or white ?
5. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
6. Your favorite number?
7. Do you like Flying or Driving more?
8. Do you like a lake or the ocean more?
9. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

And, here were my answers and what they meant:

1. Black- you are conservative and agressive (conservative NOT, agressive sometimes but which area is it implying?)
2. M- you try to enjoy your life to the max n ur love life is soon to blossom (true, except for the love part)
3. October- your love life will not be great, but eventually you will find your soul mate (oh great, love life sucks like hell ... oh well, not that I'm urgent for one and I may change to becoming a bi- before "Prince-o-Charming" comes along)
4. Black- your life will take on a diff direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you and you will be glad for the change
5. Samantha- this person is your best friend (ooh ... sam will be pleased ...lol)
6. No.8- this is how many close friends you have in your lifetime
7. Driving- you are a laid back person
8. Lake- you are loyal to your friends and very reserved (totally not true)
9. A house for myself to live in alone- send to people for wish to come true.

And, now I'm gonna forward this to Haoyu, Dennis and Joanne just for the fun of it ...

Saying something I should have never thought (or said)

Blog post for Wednesday, 5th Nov'08:

School:

Rather eager about a new assignment. My group's story, storyboard and visual effects breakdown shots were accepted by our Digital Compositing & Matting sensei, Kenny Ong. Now, we can get started on doing the animatics. I'm hyped up about this upcoming film. I think it's gonna turn out better than the other production at hand, "Miss Ah Long". So sorry to our Production For Visual Effects sensei, Jeanine if it really turns out like that.

Meanwhile, I'm gonna write a script for my GEMS class, Psychology & Counselling Assignment. We have to do a skit for the assignment. And, it's gonna be a lame and comical one. Oh boy, this is gonna be a challenge. My first time writing a comedy. Looking forward to how it turns out ...

On the other hand, Sam didn't come to school today. It's gonna be almost 2 weeks she's m.i.a. She said on her blog that she's gonna come today and even asked me what time school started on Wednesday just yesterday. What's going on with her? I know she's depressed over certain stuff and she was also not feeling well once within this almost 2 weeks. Friends are asking about her, even Kenny Ong too.

I'm feeling foul. And, I sms her just now with one obviously-not-too-happy, maybe even angry message. Wanted to stop myself from doing so but went ahead anyway. This was what I said:

"Didn cum 2 sch 2day. Again. U said u were cumin in ur blog. U asked me wad time sch started. Wads ur reason? Stil in depression? U noe wad u miss? U noe wads going on? Did u noe we started discussin kenny's hwk? We even fin d script, storyboard n did reaserach 4 vfx shot breakdown. We stil gt media law hwk 2 hand in nxt week. Ur m.i.a. 4 almos 2 weeks. Some of us wonder wad ur doing n when ur bac. Honestly, pls take some responsibility n consider our tots. N yes i sound angry. Mayb i am. im feeling stupid n tired 4 wad i did. I called, sms, xpect u 2 cum 2 sch bt u do nt. Im mad tat someone doesn reali bother bou this. I tink i'v said enough. I cn say worse tigs bt im nt going 2. We're stil waitin 4 u 2 cum bac. Pls dun disappoint us."

That's like 4 or 5 messages long. Sounds like I'm lecturing huh? I don't even know if I got the right to do so. No one's lecturing her and I take it into my own hands. However, her reply was surprisingly fast. I expected the reply to come after a long time or even none at all. Here's her reply:

"Ok, i noe i noe. I will go sch Tmr."

My reply was, "Hope u keep tat in mind."

Sounds cold? But I'm tired of the let-down expectations but I can't leave this matter alone. What would you do if it's your friend? Would you let her just continue like this, eventually letting her fail her modules?

Oneself:

Nutcracker 2008 Gonna get involved. Volunteered myself to be a make-up artist and gonna go through training this Sat at S'pore Dance Theatres. The cast I'll be applying the make-up for will be the village children (girls) in the Nutcracker. Gonna learn some stuff about make-up and maybe I can apply to film-making.

Music:

Found the mp3 file for Paramore's song "Decode". It's included in the soudntrack of the upcoming and i-eagerly-anticipating vampire romance movie, "Twilight". Another of their song, "I caught myself" sounds nice too. I personally like one part of the song:

"Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
I'm saying something that I should have never thought
Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
I'm saying something that I should have never thought of you (of you)"

Listening to "I caught myself" reminds me of someone. And, I push the thoughts away. I gotta forget about it and concentrate on work, work, work ... Now when I caught myself ... I had to stop myself ...

Unfortunate soul

Last Wednesday, I had a suppose-to-be okay day but something messed it up. Lessons from 12pm were okay. Oh yeah, I announced to the friends I hang out with, Oi Keat, Suan Kai and Kai An, that I had my first puff just the day before. Their reactions told me that they are good friends. For Oi Keat, she went, "You dare to smoke. You're not my friend." in Chinese.

And, Kai An asked if I really smoked in which I replied I don't think so 'cos I haven't learn the right way of smoking yet. He point out though that smoking is bad. Suan Kai was adamant or maybe apathetic on this topic.

The break in between my Production Design class was fun. I hung out with a group I seldom hang out. They were classmates which I don't often interact.

However, one of them caught my attention on the topic of transvetites. Her story of having a gay friend and the gay friend being jealous and all was fascinating. And, I related my share of a brief description of an interesting friend who was bisexual ...

When classes were over, I went to the karate clubroom to pack my stuff. I'm returning the key to Jin Hui. I guess that means I'm no longer training. There's no motivation for me. No girls my age are there. Nothing to really look forward to. Dennis Jr met me at the FC 5 foyer where I was waiting for Jin Hui. He asked me to stay and wait, then eat dinner together. I agreed and spent my time trying to research on my visual effects sequence on Ronald's laptop.

After the karate grading, I went with Dennis Jr, Jin Hui, Ronald, Bao Qiang and a new guy Joseph for dinner at Clementi. Normal kopitiam. I guess my chance of eating Botak Jones is not with them, but maybe with other people?

It was like 10 plus when I finish dinner. I was enjoying the nostalgic dinner-cum-conversation with them when a single phone call disturbed my space. It was my mum. This was our conversation:

Mum: Where are you?

Sa: Having dinner.

Mum: So late having dinner? What time your class end?

Sa: 6pm. I waited for my friends.

Mum: You better come back straight. Don't make this a habit.

- Click. End of conversation -

There you go. It's not even 11.30pm. She made it like a latest time I should be back is 11.30pm. However, everytime I'm out around 10 plus and I never call home, she would call me to ask my whereabouts. Her tone and words were like accusing me that I did this late night outings most of the time, which in fact, I did not.

Boy, this is just one out of the many reasons I want to be a boy. I'm created wrongly. And, I really wished to have a cigarette after that conversation, just for an act of rebellion and maybe to calm my heart (in which until I slept that very night, felt weird ever since the conversation). I think something in me screwed off after hearing her words. The words that were and ARE like a curse and a command I'm forced to obey.

Whoever said that children with families and are well-fed, well-clothed should be fortunate; they certainly thought and said it wrongly. They forgot to think of the problems the child faces while growing up and the emotional struggles they go through.

Whether the African children has not enough food and are malnutrioned or whether children should be fortunate for being well-fed etc.; both have their fair share of problems. Life was never fair to begin with ...

I'm getting tired of seeing my family. Is this something a child who's given food, clothes, shelter, materials should be saying? Maybe I'm selfish. Yes, I probably am. I've been imagining and fantasizing alot of living in a house or maybe rent a room, where I'm alone. My personal space where I can work and come back to, without having to feel like "I'm frowning. I better ease up my facial expression." (which I tend to do so when I get back home).

Heck, I've been in a family of 6 with so many noise and activities for 18 years? I really desire to be alone? I don't mind a roomate or two, who are friends with me. If I could have one wish right now, it would be that I have my own apartment. It doesn't matter if it's small. A bed positioned right beside a small wooden space where I can put small items, located slightly below the window; a study table with comfortable chair; a decent wardrobe; a bathroom in which bath tub is a must for my post stress-work period and if affordable the place must be hair-conditioned. Sounds more like a hotel rather than an apartment, doesn't it? I got this image ever since I stayed alone at my hotel room in Tokyo, in which I was so pleased with the living commendations.

That's a wish in which I doubt will happen any time soon. Heck, I think it can happen only like when I'm like 25, past the age of 21 and after I earned some money. Hah ... I guess I'll have this "fortunate" settings with clubbing limited to 11.30pm-12am and better-not-make-coming-back-home-late-a-habit and come back soon after classes routine until the ripe age of 21 ... bleh ...

Poor unfortunate soul ... just as the Jonas Brothers goes ... ...

Nicotine for writers

Last sunday was damn boring at Funan Mall. Not much people. I dozed off behind the pastry warmer like 2 or 3 times.

The only thing that was interesting today was the discovery of smoking. Yes, I'm talking cigarette, nicotine, etc. lit with a lighter. Had to thank a colleague for spurring my interest. I heard lots of writers or artists smoke and they do get inspirations or manage to relax and calm themselves to think up new artistic ideas.

Hearing this, I just had to try one. Teachers or some education programmes or lectures always mention that one puff is all it takes to get addicted. However, they mention it wrong. One puff can't get you addicted. If you smoke many cigarettes, you get addicted easily. So, I thought I should not get addicted. If needed, I'll use it to get inspiration when I got a writer's block (not that I get many of that, 'cos I'm too lazy to write).

My colleague took me to a more isolated place. Took out one stick from her box of Viceroy Menthol. Showed me once, then let me try. I discovered 3 things:

1) The smell isn't as bad as I always imagined, hence I'm okay with experiencing it (smoking) again.

2) I'm a god damn noob at smoking. (I even held the stick wrong)

3) I still need practice 'cos I can't release the smoke from my nose like my colleague.

There I go, doing the "morally-bad" things in such a short time since I turned 18. Since becoming 18, I went clubbing which to my unfortunate blissful dismay; my mum requested me to be home by 11.30pm and my dad said 12am; and I only entered the club Arena at 10pm!

I did enjoyed my first time clubbing experience but not much 'cos I had to be wary of the time ... I can't let my guard down, let much relax. I swear I haven't inherited much of their genes or DNA, except for maybe my dad's. I think my dad had wild times which includes drinking, discos, cigarettes and sex.

Back to nicotine, HAH ... I'm gonna try doing that again. Shall wait 'til I get back my money before buying one pack and a lighter. Then, stash it. Smoke one stick for practice then stop and wait 'til I need it badly for inspiration or cool my head from rebellious immature angst. Last of all, cheers to NICOTINE FOR WRITERS!!!

Wake

A poem "Wake" to commemorate the beginning, the "waking" of this blog:

"Wake"

Under a blanket of warm orange rays,
Nestled on a white sheet of sanctuary,
I awoke to find you next to me,
Deep in slumber, enjoying the ease.

Your quietscence I did not disturb,
But a feeling of warmth it did muster,
The need to touch you was non-existant,
For the only thing that matters is your existence.