Over and over in my head

Just have some things I'm contemplating and turning over and over in my head:

- I'm wondering how I'm gonna get through this internship. I'm rather tired of repeated routines of coming to work from Monday to Friday and resting on weekends. I'm starting to understand how Sam feels when he had to witness Dean dying so many times. It becomes a little scary at first, then rather old.

- The aching at my lower spine is annoying me. I hope cycling on Sunday won't aggravate it since it will take some strain on my back while I cycle.

- It's even more annoying that I can't totally erase him out of my mind. He's at the back of my head. And, when I'm not busy thinking about something, his issue pops into the front. The fact that my thoughts fly to his direction is eating me up inside.

- I think internship was a valuable experience. If it hadn't exist, I wouldn't be touching Finalcut Pro and learning how to edit. Okay, I've done simple edits like an anime amv with WMM and I've posted it on my Youtube account.

- Somehow, I can't not do these few things when I turn my laptop on: Check who's online (with no intention to start any conversations), check email, check Twitter, check Facebook and check dA.

- Great thanks to Misha Collins for having a Twitter account and made me create one to "stalk" him. I've fallen in love with the damn gadget and the more sarcastic and nonsensical side of me is showing up more and being used as content for my Tweets.

- I was watching some Supernatural fanvids on Youtube when I realised that Jared Padalecki has a nice butt.

- It's scary to know that in my earlier years, I have actually seen Jensen Ackles in his earlier roles like Eric Brady in Days Of Our Lives and Smallville as Jason Teague. It's incredible that I actually hate his character in Smallville because he was in the way of Clark and Lana's relationship.

- I feel the urge to make a Supernatural fanvid of CasXDean after hearing some songs that fit them. However, I don't have the clips.

- It's not exactly a comforting thought that there's only me and a friend so far who's interested in joining a Phillips TVC competition. I haven't heard his idea yet. I hope the idea doesn't mutate into something lame. I really hate it when what one thinks is funny isn't funny to others. At all.

- I've realised that my 19th birthday falls during the school holidays this year. I'm thinking whether anyone would remember and ask to celebrate. At all. I can bet and I'm preparing for myself that only my family are the ones that will celebrate it with a dinner, cake and presents. (It's not like anyone actually reads my blog too so yeah, I'm like unnoticed wallpaper)

- Then, there's the case of thinking about how solitary my life is. Never in love. Never experienced the fun, joy or sadness in a relationship. I have no one that can support me emotionally. Lucky ever since the start of internship, I've been unusually cheerful and optimistic. Well, that's a thought. I'm supposed to get strong. How much stronger independently? That, I'm not sure.

Phew. That's a lot going on in my head. I think if thoughts were like real mini characters, they would be throwing a party in my mind and amusing themselves with randomly presenting themselves to the front of my mind. They're lucky I'm not a real meanie or I'll kick their hide if I actually, physically could.