I'm not a nice sister

Found out my 2nd younger Ayam has been talking bad behind my back in her blog. Oh ho. I have words for her. I'm not sure if she fucking knows but when my 1st younger sister tells her to get out or criticises her; I'm not supporting her. I just keep quiet and get out of the way. I never say I like what she does; throwing her temper around. If she noticed, Adek attempts to kick her out of the room many times compared to me.

And, apparently, I don't have the habit of writing my irritation of her playing audition so much on my blog. Well, apparently, maybe I should but I won't. It's wasting time. Also, you got something wrong. I asked if you wanted to use the computer. It wasn't something out of sarcasm. I was really asking you a damn question. You should go learn literature and learn how to interpret words and tone. And, knowing that our folks will chase you to bed, I asked you for the time. Do you think I take notice of what time they chased you to bed? Don't use blah blah as to what I say in your blog. Listen to what people are saying.

Important words for you: I'm not a nice sister. I never was and never will be. Being nice, encouraging, comforting, pretty big sisters like in the overrated tv dramas or movies is not in the package. I got my own set of principles I adhere to. And, yeah you have your hobbies, I have mine; and mum has hers. Most importantly, you're in secondary school; you're still studying; you're not in the least an adult. Hahaha ... consider yourself lucky. You have no idea the things you could get away with, compared to me when I was around your age. Handphone, computer, go out after schools... Not sure if you know, I don't have much friends in Sec 1 & 2. I went out exploring the malls, travel to other stations.

What I have in the end is a lecture about being the eldest, show good example, threat to put me in a foster home and all I can do is keep my anger in my heart but it overwhelmed me and broke me down. Do you want to face the same thing as me? Do you want to cut the back of your wrist as an act of rebellion and an oath to yourself two years from now? The eldest get more tough discipline. Discipline dies down when it comes down to the younger ones. And, you, my dear girl, is a younger one. It's like I set a threshold for the level of discipline; mine being the highest.

To deal with these things I don't like, I became slightly abnormal and I enjoyed it- whatever you name it: watching gay, reading up on the occult (witchcraft), smoking, wanting to be outside in the night, all the things you don't deem normal and you're not open-minded enough to accept. By the way, you should thank me. I started watching anime first. You people followed. I have an annoying time proving that watching anime doesn't get in the way with my studies.

So, say what you want in the blog. I give you permission. Continue playing the audition you love. Deciding on things without using logic and reasoning (like the time you went out early morning just to get on the same bus as your friend and got your folks angry). Remain the righteous child you're always are. I'll get out of the way of interrupting your space and happy time. I think it's about time people stop interfering with you and let you fend for yourself.

Afterall, you're capable of that, right? If consequences arise, let me see the downfall. I've been waiting to see the downfall of someone in the family. It excites me to see someone go down and have a taste of failure. Twisted right? Maybe it's like what I thought to be when I was younger- a child of the Devil, perhaps?