Ill in mind and body

Sick. Ill. Unwell. Feeble. Tired. Weary. Drained. Whatever. It just totals up to the fact that I'm down with a cold. My nose has been crying non-stop since Saturday. I've taken two small pills for cold and got knocked out since 1am last night, waking up at around 11.30am this morning. I was all groggy and my back ached like hell. And, that's ill in body.

As for ill in mind, I feel so despicable. I'm ashamed of myself. My pride. My ugliness. When I felt that I was stripped of the only ability I had, I felt so upset. I feel even more miserable when the other party was helping out of kindness and pureness. Torn between wanting to get angry at someone and reasoning with my mind's logic, I had to control myself and the bursting emotions. Urgh. I felt like crap ...

I need to be more reasonable and logical. I should learn to shut out unwanted emotions. A little unemotional I should be ...

PS. I'm in need of the third Kathy Reich's novel!! I finished both novels already. I'm hungry for the next one and I wanna find out if there's any progression between Tempe Brennan and Detective Andrew Ryan >.<

And, I've just found out my pri. 3 lil' bro is a masochistic. He says he doesn't consider my sister, Maria as a sister 'cos she keeps on kissing him. He says he hates that. And, I ask if he prefers me hitting his head -> (my fetish with young round heads) and his answer was positive. He enjoys gettin' hit on the head by me. He can sit and continue looking at the same yaoi manga page I read and asks me to go to the next page! -> either he turns homophobic or gay. I hope it's the latter ...